Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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