Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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