yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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