Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
