Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
