Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
