I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
