why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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