I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize