This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
