He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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