So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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