i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize