did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
