Do you still have your period?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
