I will die if light touches me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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