i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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