if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
