I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
