i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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