I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
organizing the empties. That sober.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
