I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
