i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
