That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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