Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
