with your own penis?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
