Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
