she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
