what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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