i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize