do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
