careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We got so high we made milksteak
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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