You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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