I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
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woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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