I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
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My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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