is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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