yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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