the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize