normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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