Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
