Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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