3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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