Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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