And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
