I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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