Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
