Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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