Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize