I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize