i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
