My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Help me help you realize you are a moron
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
