am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
