i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
