just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
