chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
