I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
