Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
