She's JV to your varsity
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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