no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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