My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
