just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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